Unless you have been on Mars preparing a welcome for NASA’s Mars rover, you are probably aware that many people practice Iyengar Yoga for stress relief and…
Unless you have been on Mars preparing a welcome for NASA’s Mars rover, you are probably aware that many people practice Iyengar Yoga for stress relief and other health benefits.
However, up until now, no one has compiled a quick and easy to use list of excuses for NOT doing yoga. Consequently, as a public service, we have hereby created a list of ten outstanding, ready-made excuses to assist those who would like to avoid the stress relief, relaxation, weight loss, increased energy, improved sleep and other health benefits of doing yoga.
If you do yoga:
1. You will look young and energetic instead of old and tired and will have to give up lecturing younger people on how much easier they have it than you did when you were their age.
2. You will no longer freak out and lose your temper when the smallest things go wrong, and will be unable to avoid all those pesky people who didn’t like you because of your temper and who now want to be your friends.
3. You will lose the physical clumsiness, lack of co-ordination and inability to touch, or even see, your toes that you have been cultivating as status symbols of the aristocratic life of leisure and ease that you lead.
4. You will mess up your shot at the gold medal in the upcoming “Couch Potato of the Year” international championship by becoming altogether too energetic.
5. Your doctor will get lonely because you don’t visit as often and you have no idea what else you could do with the money you spend on various medications, or on gas going back and forth to your doctor’s office.
6. Your health insurance premiums might no longer be as high as possible because you are doing something that will reduce your chances of getting serious diseases.
7. You will have to give-up your time-tested morning ritual of sucking-in, grimacing, pulling and tugging at the zipper of your pants to close over your spare time as you get dressed to greet another day.
8. You might have to get rid of your prize winning collection of diet books if you started losing weight without trying to diet.
9. You will have a way to recuperate from jet lag and other forms of exhaustion and will no longer able to complain to everyone for weeks about how utterly tired you are.
10. If you reduce stress, have more energy, and enjoy really good health, you might lose the outstanding complaining skills you have spent years developing.
So there you have it: a ready made list of excuses to use when someone asks you why you haven’t tried yoga even though you are stressed out and would like some stress relief.
However, if you have decided you might want to use Iyengar Yoga for stress relief and other health benefits, go ahead and take a yoga class — asap! After all, what do you have to lose, except that spare tire, and that constant state of fatigue and stress?